What's His Story? You Tell Me -- Drunk Camper Dude Edition

We've been camping at a state park just minutes from our house this week because the weather has been gorgeous and we wanted to sleep under the stars. Why else?

Every time we go back to our campsite in the evening, some other camper has popped a tent right next to us. RIGHT. Next. to. us. I know I can cook a mean stir fry over the fire, but come on people.
Give us some s p a c e.

The first time it happened we dragged our tent to another location. Last night, some dude had put up his tent right across from us. And he had a pit bull chained up to the picnic table, who promptly barked at us and sent my little Cockapoo into a frenzy. We never saw the dude, he must have been in his tent when we arrived (at 7pm) but he promptly brought his dog in with him to save us all from the barking that was bound to ensue all night from both camps.

We didn't hear a peep out of him or his dog for the rest of the evening.

Until we turned in.

At first I hear a moan. A loooooong drawn out moan like when you try to wake a teenage boy up from a nap.

Then a loud slurred threat that sounded something like, "I'm gonna effing kill youuuuuuu."

Yeah, now I'm awake. It's not the sort of thing you want to hear when you're camping and you can't see anything. Not to mention that the volume made it sound like he was right outside our tent.

Moooooooaaaaannnnnnnnn

Nooooooooooo

I said stay on your side!

I'm gonna effing shoot you up!

Then everything's quiet for an hour or so. Until...

Nooooooooo

I said stay on your side!

I'm gonna put you outside and let you effing fend for yourself! I'm gonna effing kill youuuuuuu!

Over and over this occurs, all throughout the night. I didn't sleep very well, to say the least. At some point I realize he's talking to his dog and I desperately wanted to inform him that dogs don't understand threats. I guess the dog was cold and kept trying to snuggle up next to him. Me? I'd throw an arm around my pup and be thankful for the warmth. Him? Threaten and moan. That's his solution.

Now, I'm not positive he was drunk, but he sure sounded like it. Like a drunk version of Dug from UP. You know when Dug says, "I can smell youuuuuuuu." ?? Yeah. That's what this guy sounded like. Only strip away all the adorable innocence and lace his words with profanity.

This morning I took in his campsite. Small tent, beat-up truck, lots of canvas bags in the back. Just him. Camping alone. With his dog. Possibly raving drunk.

So you tell me. What's his story? Why did he camp 3 feet away from us? Is he running from the law? Did his old lady toss him out? And what's he got against a little puppy snuggle? Or maybe he wasn't talking to his dog at all. If not, who?

Have some fun with this. I want to hear some awesome stories. :)