So after 25 hours of straight computer programming this weekend, the Project of Doom is at a nice stopping point. Am I finished? Far from it. Am I finished for now? Thank God, yes.
Here are a few of the side effects that may occur if your eyeballs have been staring at a screen and your brain's been developing code for 25 straight hours:
- You may feel the need to go on a walk to get some vitamin D and stretch those leg muscles. However, due to your lack of leg muscle usage and lack of focusing on anything farther away than 2 feet, you may trip every few steps, squint at nothing in particular, acquire a headache from viewing the world in 3D, and/or process everything you see into line data like Cypher in The Matrix.
- If you feel the need to escape the confines of your office, be aware that you may look like death. After all, you haven't showered or changed out of your pajamas in two days. You'll think everyone is staring at you and judging you. (They are.) In extreme cases, you may throw a tantrum. Because being around humans is a shock to your system.
- You may insert random geek speak into everyday conversations, such as: "Have you modified your php.ini?" "Why yes, I have reset my MAMP servers." "How are your scripts today?" "I'll take mySQL with cream and sugar."
- You may experience lucid dreams, accompanied by one or more of the following phenomena: waking up in a sitting position with wrists poised for typing, waking up searching for your iPhone, dreaming about tweets that have never occurred, dreaming about programming "fixes" that will solve all your ails but are as mythical as Poseidon, waking up trying to pop the top on your bedside table lamp because you thought it was a Red Bull and you needed the extra caffeine.
My advice? Do. Not. Attempt.
Also, if you know of anyone who has gone through this traumatic experience, send chocolate cake, coffee house gift cards, and an in-home masseuse.
